-By Sharon H. Chang
When I wrote my first post for Hyphen, Talking Mixed-Race Identity with Young Children, I was deliberately blunt about race. I wrote about how I don’t tell my multiracial son, who presents as a racial minority, that he’s white — but I do tell him he’s Asian. While the essay resonated with many people, others made comments like this:
“Your child is as white as he is Asian… Why embrace one label and not the other?”
“Why is he Asian but not white? He has white ancestors as much as Asian ones. So if it’s OK to call him Asian, it’s OK to call him white. Or, if it’s not OK to call him white (because he’s not completely white) then it’s not OK to call him Asian, because he’s not completely Asian either.”
“Your child is neither white nor Asian. I once heard this description: When you have a glass of milk and add chocolate to it, you no longer have just a glass of milk and you no longer just have chocolate because you have created something completely different. A bi-racial or multi-racial child is not either/or.”
In the 1990s, psychologist and mixed-race scholar Maria P.P. Root wrote the famous Bill of Rights for People of Mixed Heritage, stirred by her examination of mixed-race identity, interviews with hundreds of multiracial folk across the U.S., and the struggles multiracial people face in forming and claiming a positive sense of self. “I have the right not to justify my existence to the world,” it reads. “To identify myself differently than strangers expect me to identify. To create a vocabulary about being multiracial or multiethnic.”
Almost two decades later, these proclamations still ring so true. Some people are completely unwilling to honor my family’s choice to identify as mixed-race and Asian because it doesn’t align with their own ideas about how we should identify. The right of a mixed-race person to self-construct and self-define, even today, endures continual policing from people with their own agendas.
“If it’s not OK to call him white…then it’s not OK to call him Asian”; “Your child is neither white nor Asian.” These critiques are so often centered on whiteness: a sense of disbelief that I would “deny” it to my son, and the conviction that, if I won’t teach him he is white too — or at least partly white — then he is nothing at all. Even the problematic chocolate milk analogy — which the commenter clearly thought was progressive — begins with a glass of white milk with “color” added. White is seen as normative, and there is a total failure to recognize that racial categories are political.
Of course I talk to my son about our white family members who are a part of his life and his identity. But those stories are about growing up in Virginia, or window candles at Christmastime in New England, or his Slovakian great-great-grandmother who came through Ellis Island alone when she was sixteen. Those stories are about our history, not about being “white.” “White” is not an ethnic celebration, a food festival, or a heritage parade. It’s about having unearned power and privilege based on the way you look.
In Dr. Peggy McIntosh’s famous essay on white privilege, she listed a series of unearned privileges white people enjoy. Among them: “I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time”; “I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented”; “I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial”; and “I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the ‘person in charge,’ I will be facing a person of my race.” Are any of these true of my multiracial Asian son? My son, who barely has any children’s books that reflect his racial image, who is constantly scanned and assessed aloud based on “how Asian” he looks, my son who has had many more white teachers than teachers of color?
Telling my child he’s white also won’t help him understand why children who were less than one-quarter Japanese were interned during World War II; why a stranger would look at him and say there are no “pure races” anymore; why a leading theatre company in our city unabashedly staged a yellowface production of an operetta; why kids on the playground pull back their eyes in a slant and spit out one of those ridiculous anti-Asian chants that just won’t go away. When I tell my son that he is Asian, mixed-race, multiracial, and a person of color, I’m not denying him parts of his ancestral-ethnic heritage. I’m teaching him about the race politics that intrude upon our lives whether we want them to or not. I’m preparing him to exist in a world that obstinately persists in being racially divided. And I’m trying to let him know something about the ways he has and will continue to be judged throughout his life, not because he’s white — but because he’s mixed with color.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier, condensed into Facebook updates.
- Do not shame sex workers
- Do NOT shame sex workers
- Do NOT SHAME SEX WORKERS
- dO nOT SHAme SEx WorkErs
- do not shame sex workers
That means don’t shame
- call girls
- exotic entertainers
- exotic dancers
- sugar babies
- cam girls/cam models
- phone sex operators
- kink cater-ers
- Anyone who gets paid for a sexual service whether it be using their sex appeal, preforming a sexual act, giving an 8 course intercourse
DO NOT SHAME SEX WORKERS
…Burlesque performers too. Don’t do it.
At the Hotline and loveisrespect, we know that domestic violence and dating abuse can affect anyone—including men. Although they make up a smaller percentage of our callers and chatters, there are many more men who do not report or seek help for their abuse, for a variety of reasons:
- Men are often socialized not to express their feelings or see themselves as victims.
- Pervading beliefs or stereotypes about men being abusers, women being victims.
- The abuse of men is often treated as less serious, or a “joke.”
- Many believe there are no resources or support available for male victims.
No matter what your situation is, the Hotline and loveisrespect are here to help, confidentially and without judgment. Please give us a call or chat with us anytime. Click here for more info about resources and info specifically for men and boys.
- it’s how you treat those who ship other pairings (or ot3+s) - kindness and thoughtfulness towards your fellow fen is more progressive than ship bashing, anon hate, or other forms of abuse
- it’s how you treat female characters and characters of color while pursuing your ship, even if you think they’re “in the way” of your OTP
- it’s how you treat the existence of bi/pansexuality, asexuality, aromanticism (we fucking count)
- it’s how you treat canonically queer characters
- it’s how you treat trans people/characters/headcanons
- it’s how you depict marginalized perspectives/narratives (falling back on harmful tropes can replicate harm)
- it’s how you treat actual queer people in fandom (if they say something might be problematic, maybe be more thoughtful about it in the future?)
- it’s about how you treat marginalized people/characters/perspectives aside from those listed above (like those with/about mental &/or physical disabilities, etc)
- it’s about who (characters, actors, media producers) you choose to “defend” - against whom or what? - and whose bad behavior you choose to excuse or overlook
- there are probably more bullet points, but this is all I can think of off the top of my head
I think it’s about how you ship, not what you ship.
Someone: you can’t finish this book in day
stop taking bucky’s metal arm away
stop taking charles’ wheelchair away
stop taking clint’s hearing aids away
disabled superheroes are important stop sucking please
I read this wrong and I was just picturing them all confused as to who keeps taking their stuff.
"Steve have you seen my arm anywhere?"
"Nope, sorry Bucky. By the way, have you seen Clint’s hearing aids? He hasn’t been able to hear a damn thing all day"
During World War II, Josephine Baker served with the French Red Cross and was an active member of the French resistance movement. Using her career as a cover Baker became an intelligence agent, carrying secret messages written in invisible ink on her sheet music. She was awarded the Croix de Guerre, and received a Medal of the Resistance in 1946. In 1961 she received the highest French honor, the Legion d’Honneur awarded by then President Charles de Gaulle.
Our loss, U.S.A….
If you don’t admire the shit out of J. Baker, who was also pretty openly bisexual and adopted NINETEEN children in addition to the badassery mentioned above, I want you to go sit in the corner and think about your life choices.
um she was also a huge civil rights activist and her refusal to perform for segregated audiences at major clubs that were fallin over themselves to book her helped de-segregate vegas performance venues
aaaand she had a pet cheetah
The best thing she ever did was leave the US
Bruce and Jane - Physicist Bros
So I recently was thinking about how scienceandstardust was just about the sweetest person I could ever meet and how her Jane Foster is wonderful, especially for Bruce. So I commissioned the uber-talented toherrys to sketch me a little Jane&Bruce Physicist Bros love.
So this is for Meg, because she’s wonderful and deserves to know it.
In which Chris Evans is no longer satisfied with only the left boob.